Bipolar Disorder

What is bipolar disorder? You may ask…

For me, bipolar disorder is a sickness that must not be treated lightly. When I was 25, my doctor told me I was bipolar. A feeling swept away. It was an affirmation. An affirmation of why I was who I was and why I acted the way I acted in the past, though I never really wondered about why I was acting the way I was acting in the past. I thought I was normal.

Photo source: https://www.borderlinepersonalitytreatment.com/bipolar-disorder-changes-dsm-5.html

What is bipolar disorder? You may ask…

For me, it is not just a sickness. It’s an attitude. I oftentimes feel high and low and seldom in between. Experts call it manic depressive. There are times when you get extremely happy and oftentimes you get extremely sad. The extremes. Nothing in between. Definitely not how a normal person would act.

Experts say lithium is the best cure for bipolar disorder. I haven’t tried lithium yet though I take some mood stabilizers and anti-depressant tablets. I don’t really know if it works. I mean, sometimes, I get angry for some reason. I mean, don’t we all get angry? It’s totally normal. I think I don’t have to take these tablets anymore. I think I just need to work things out. My second doctor told me there wasn’t any problem with me. I kind of agree with her, yet at some point I doubt. I really don’t know.  But I’d like to believe I am perfectly fine or rather, an overcomer. Yes, I’ve been through some tough times that it was too hard to bear but don’t we all go through it? It’s darkest before the dawn, always remember that, and we need to work for the things that we want. I’m not an achiever, really, but there’s something that I really want so I really need to work for it.

Photo source: http://www.studypk.com/articles/nursing-guide-bipolar-disorder/

They say one characteristic of a person who has a bipolar disorder is not being able to multi-task. Well, yes, I am that. I can’t multi-task. I need to focus on one thing before I proceed to another. It has a purpose though. I believe everything on earth has a purpose. In time, we will know what the purpose is. In God’s perfect time. “All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (The Bible. The Book of “Romans” Chapter 8, verse 28) Everything has a purpose. We might not know it yet but someday it will be revealed to us.

 

Dreams

Have you ever felt like you’re in a trance or in a sort of daydream? Well, when I was little, I often daydream. I dreamt of a world where fairy tales came true. I especially love to watch the Disney animated movie Peter Pan because I thought it was too cool and awesome.

Truth is, in reality, dreams are just dreams. We have to work on achieving what we want if we really want it. They say “If you do not fight for your dreams, maybe they aren’t good enough”. I myself haven’t fought for my some of my dreams because I think they’re too big and sometimes they scare me.

There were dreams that I thought came true, and it’s also what they call “déjà vu”. We don’t really know what our dreams mean but, 2000+ years ago, someone knew what dreams meant. That someone was Joseph, the one they call The Dreamer. He knew what dreams meant and the king even was awestruck that his dreams were deciphered by Joseph the Dreamer. Joseph had a tough past, too. He was sold by His brothers to foreigners and he found himself in a prison cell in Egypt. There he found two people; one is a butler and the other, a wine maker. These two people used to be servant of the Pharaoh but they were put in the prison so the three of them met. One day, the two had a different dream and it was so odd. But Joseph was able to find out what the dream meant also ‘cause he was favored. When the wine maker was released, he remembered Joseph when Pharaoh had a dream and he wants it to be interpreted. And so, Joseph also figured out what the Pharaoh’s dream meant. He became the Governor of Egypt and his brothers (without knowing that it was Joseph) bow to him. It was really a nice story and if Joseph was still alive, I bet he could also decipher what our dreams mean. Lately, I’ve been dreaming about snakes. Mom said that when you dream about snakes, it means temptation. It does make sense to me, although it’s kind of a general thing. Others say that when you dream about snakes that swim in water or it is in water, it’s a good sign. I don’t really know. If Joseph was here, many would ask him to interpret their dreams for sure and maybe I would be one of them. 😀

When I was young, I dreamt to be a star. Yes, a big shining star. Well, I really loved to sing and play musical instruments such as guitar and piano. I also received so many compliments about my “talent” when I was still a little girl. I’ve always loved music but should I pursue this passion of mine? I have doubts. I doubt because right now, it’s not really helping. I mean, yes it does but in a different way, it’s not. I guess there really are dreams we have to let go.

They say “Let go of the one you love and if it comes back, then it’s yours”, so that’s what I’m doing. Tee-hee!

Even if some of our dreams may not come true, still, we are so blessed to be alive and to have been given the chance to dream, so dream on and let your light shine bright like a star  ҉

Why Do People Change?

This blog is a sequel in my study about change and learning the hows and whys of it.

Photo source: http://elizabethbcrook.com/2018/03/tiny-suggestion-leads-epic-change/

As what we’ve learned and understood about change, it is inevitable. It happens to everyone and every-when and everywhere. We see change all around us. There is change of atmosphere, environment, temperature, and color when the sun sets. And who knew that even a tiny rose bud could turn into a blooming flower as a caterpillar crawls into it’s leaves but after patiently waiting for 6 months in its cocoon, it breaks free and turns into a colorful, beautiful butterfly.

Before we find out why people change, first let us find out what change really means. According to Merriam Webster, change is to make different in some particular; to make radically different; to give a different position, course, or direction to; to replace with another; to make a shift from one to another. There are two kinds of changes – positive and negative change. Positive change is when something who was once in the negative side is turned into positive. For example, when a person who used to be shy and timid learns to speak to the crowd boldly and courageously, it is considered as a positive change.

On the other hand, a negative change occurs when something who was once positive turns into negative. This kind of change may not be extremely negative, though. It may be a work in progress. I’ve had a series positive and negative occurrences in my life. One positive change was when I decided to become an independent woman and decided to chase after my own dreams. The experience gave me a lot of of perspectives in life and it also allowed me to explore and learn new stuff – about myself, about the world, and many more. I’ve changed for the better. Yet, there are still so many things to learn and many places to set foot on. People say life is about taking risks, however, we must also know whether or not the risk we’re about to take would be worth it or not.

In a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, one of the reasons why someone changes is because they realize that the person is not worth fighting anymore or if they found someone who is much more appealing. Girls often say that their boyfriends were sweet, understanding and good to them at first, but as the relationship progressed, their partners became cold and they wonder why.

One negative change I acquired after ending a two-year and a half relationship is that I became an introvert. I considered myself an ambivert but more on the extrovert part but now I am an ambivert more on the introvert part. It’s a reality that is hard to swallow but people really do change.

Oftentimes, people change because of pain. People change because of the events that have happened to them. What’s important is, we know how to deal with these changes that occurred in our lives. Some people aren’t good in coping up to change and that includes me. Well, all of us are works in progress and there is always a room for improvement. 🙂

Changes

So this is my 7^th blog. Well, I just found out that someone actually reads my blog so might as well behave. Tee-hee! Anyway, the topic for today is change.

Change is one of the most overused words in the dictionary. People say that change is inevitable and change is the only certain thing in this world. Honestly, I myself have a hard time coping up with the little and big changes in my life. For instance, my eldest sister, who has a family now can’t play and spend time with me anymore unlike before due to change of priorities which is her new family. As the youngest sister (and a spoiled brat at that one), it is somewhat hard reality for me to accept given the attention that my sisters flourished me with. Before, I was very much spoiled by my eldest sister, and she really made sure I got everything I need and that I was well protected, well loved, and cared for. That is why I was broken when I found out that she was pregnant to a baby boy who immediately became her center of attention. I thought to myself, life isn’t just fair, but truth is, I just wasn’t prepared for that change to happen in my life, yet. But now, I’m slowly coping up with the change. Another example of my lack of preparation or poor response to change is my best friends who now live far from me. I was used to them being so near and so I’d get all the love I need and love them back in return, but now, I don’t get to see them often and I don’t get to hang out with them anymore. Actually, I am a bubbly kind of person when I’m with my friends, so now that I’m without, I’m full of gloomy skies and gray clouds.

Another one of the biggest changes I had to deal with in my life was when I and my family had to transfer to a new home. It was one of the biggest heartaches that ever happened to me. I had so many memories in that house, mostly good memories. Even up to now, I’m still not used to the new house. No matter what, it’s still a “new house” to me. I guess the old house just gave me so much comfort, so much love that it was hard for me to let it go. That home really was “irreplaceable”. Just like what other people say, “there’s no place like home” and for me, that house was home. ∞

Things change, and it won’t stop changing. However, there’s something that the Bible says in Hebrews 13:8. “Jesus is the same yesterday, today, forever”. So I will cling on to Him. Though I haven’t met Him, I still believe He exists and only He can be trusted with all the change that is happening around us. He said, “Blessed are those who have not yet seen, but believed.” – John 20:29 That’s why I have faith.

Jesus is the creator of everything. “All things were made by Him and without Him nothing is made that was made.” –John 1:3 He is the unchangeable God. He is the One who was, who is, and who is to come. “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God”. -John 1:1 That “Word” that John was referring to is Jesus. He is in fact with God from the beginning.

Right now, I am in the process of restoring my relationship with God. I have struggled so much in the past, like a lamb lost, attacked by wild beasts, abandoned, hopeless and blood-stained. But the Good Shepherd continues to search for me, and then he wept (John 11:35) and ran and embraced me again. He gave me food to eat and water to drink, and I realized how great is His love for me. I am truly blessed! Right now, I can say that I am back in my Father’s arms and nothing can separate me from His love ever again. -Romans 8:31-39.

Solomon in His wisdom and riches said that the best way to live life on earth is to live life to the fullest – eat, drink and be merry; but remember that you must give an account to God for everything you do. (Ecclesiastes 11:9) so no time for regrets, no time for bitterness and hatred; just forgive, love and live every moment like it’s your last. 😉

V’min Love

Only a life lived for others is worth living.

–Albert Einstein

The two guys you see above is Kim Taehyung also known as “V” and Park Jimin. Vmin is the combined name of the two close friends of one of the most famous, top-selling Korean pop groups in our time, today. Bangtan boys also known as BTS. Their group is composed of seven members lead by Rapmonster (a.k.a. Rapmon; RM), J-Hope, Jin, Suga, and Jungkook also called by their fans called the A.R.M.Y. as the “worldwide handsome”. This group already has two billion views on Youtube including an appearance at The Ellen DeGeneres and Jimmy Kemel show. They also won as new artist in the billboard Music Awards as they trend worldwide for their undeniable looks and talent. But as what they say, “there is so much more than meets the eye”.

Still new to the Kpop world, but it has already given me new discoveries and has inspired me a lot. When I was born, my parents introduced me to a perfect world, one world where good triumphs over evil. As I became a teen, I always did the right thing because I was taught that kindness and goodness can never go wrong. In my late teenage years, I became part of a corruptible relationship and later on, I realized that being good will do me no good. And so, I became corrupted. The filthiness that I accumulated blurred my vision and all I could see is darkness. I told myself that being good isn’t always the answer ‘cause bad things and if you want to survive, you must thrive. I became discouraged and my life has just lost its meaning. I discovered that I have Bipolar Disorder when I was 25 and for the first time, the weird highs and lows made sense. Once, when we were fighting, my ex-boyfriend even called me “bipolar”, and at that time, we didn’t know it was actually legit. Still, I carried on with life’s worries, fears and struggles. There was a slight change of atmosphere when I started to work as a call center agent of a world-renowned BPO company. But the pressure and stress of working in the big city was too much for me, so I decided to go back to my hometown to finish my degree in hotel, restaurant and tourism management, and it meant to face my past. I never want to go back cause of some unresolved issues and childhood trauma, but life kind of left me with no choice. It has never been easy for me, but I must keep the hope alive. I was a very “Godly” person, and still, I believe in God but after all the struggles I’ve been through, I wanted more evidence. I wanted to believe in love again. So I started my soul-searching, but like they always say, “Do not find love, instead, let love find you,” and somehow, I found it.

I saw how Jimin loved Taehyung (V) and it was one of the selfless acts I’ve ever seen, I literally cried. Although, they aren’t real brothers, Jimin treats V as his own brother, combing his hair, giving free piggy back rides, supporting and encouraging him.

I remember my own friendship with the kind of friendship Taehyung and Jimin have. Time changed us all, or maybe I was the one who changed a lot. I loved all of my friendships and I was grateful for each one of them. I wished time would go back and let me feel those good things pure love and joy with my friends again. *sob*

If I have a brother, or better yet, a husband, I want him to be just like Jimin. Although I admit I’m really into chinitos. 🙂 Yes, he may be good looking but it’s not that that’s got me attracted. It’s his character.

Jimin likes cats a lot and I found this rad photo of a cat in pinterest.

Hey, don’t get me wrong, I love Tae too.
I love BTS and I might write a blog about them soon!

Depression is not a joke.

Kpop for me is fun, entertaining, inspiring. That is why I feel terrible after hearing the bad news that one of Korea’s finest Jonghyun (though I don’t know him personally) committed suicide due to depression. Jonghyun is part of the Kpop group SHINee, where Taemin, who I recently got to know because of MAMA2017 is also a member of.

I never really knew Jongyun but I know that he, too, was selfless and tried so hard to make his fans happy, just like what my Kpop biases always do. I learned to love Kpop just this year (refer to my previous blog), and Kpop really makes my day. It inspires me a lot, gives me hope, and makes me happy. But even Kpop, no matter how perfect it seems, is imperfect.

Truth is you can pretend you’re happy on the outside but only you know how you truly feel deep down and it is very important for you to be happy. I guess Jonghyun was really a selfless guy that he forgot to put his own happiness first before others. Me, on the other hand, I consider myself as someone who is selfish, who doesn’t care about how others feel because I don’t know, I really am confused with how things are going on in my life, either, and am having a hard time coping up with life’s pressures and changes. Honestly, I’ve also thought about suicide and how miserable it would’ve been. The thing that keeps me going is Jesus. In Him, I find hope, peace, joy everlasting.

Here is a copy of the final letter Jonghyun gave to his sister:

I am broken from the inside.
The depression that slowly gnawed away at me has finally swallowed me whole.
And I could not defeat it.

I detested myself. I grabbed my disjointed memories and yelled at them to pull themselves together but was met with no response.
If I can’t help myself breathe properly it’s better to stop breathing at all.
I asked myself who was responsible for me.

Only I.
I was utterly alone.
It’s easy to talk about the end.
It’s hard to actually end.
I lived until now because of that difficulty.
I told myself I wanted to run.
Yes, I wanted to run.
From myself.
From you.
I asked who was there. It was me. It was me again. And it was me yet again.
I asked why I kept losing my memories. It was because of my personality. I see. So It’s all my fault in the end. I wanted people to notice but no one did. They’ve never even met me so of course they don’t know I exist.

I asked why they live. They just live, just live on.
If you ask why I die I would answer I am exhausted.
I have suffered and pondered. I never learned how to turn this exhausting pain into bliss.

Pain is just that, pain.
They scolded me not to do this.
Why? Why can’t I even end things the way I want to?

They told me to find out why I hurt.
I know too well. I hurt because of me. It’s all my fault and all because I’m lacking.
Doctor, is this what you wanted to hear?
No. I have done nothing wrong.

When the gentle voice blamed my personality I thought, ‘damn being a doctor is easy.’
It’s so odd that it hurts so much. People who have it worse than me live fine, people who are weaker than me carry on fine. Maybe that’s not true. There’s no one alive that’s got it worse than me or is weaker than me.

But I should live on anyway.
I keep asking myself why I should hundreds of times and it’s not for my own good. It’s for yours.
Please don’t say a word if you don’t understand.
Find out why I’m hurting? I told you why. Is it so wrong to hurt so much because of that, do I need to have a more dramatic reason? A more specific reason?

I told you already. Were you not listening? Things you can overcome don’t scar you for life.
Clashing with the world was never meant for me.
The life of fame was never meant for me.
That’s all the reason why it hurts. Because I’m famous. Why did I choose this. It’s so funny.
It’s a wonder I lasted so long.

What can I say. Just tell me I’ve done well. That this is good enough. That I’ve worked hard. Even if you can’t smile don’t fault me on my way. You did well, you worked hard. Goodbye.

– SHINee’s Jonghyun

How I Learned to Love Kpop

Korean Pop also known as K-pop is a world-wide trend that young people in today’s generation patronize. It has been going on for years, however, I just learned to love it just this year. I’ll tell you why I love Kpop, but first, let me tell you how I learned to love Kpop.

I learned to love Kpop when I was watching this program in TvN called “Produce 101”. It’s a reality program which produces kpop groups and endorses them to the Kpop fandom which is known as the “National Producers”. That time, I only watched because I couldn’t find any decent shows on TV. However, watching the show, I realized that Koreans are talented, cute, funny, and knows how to enjoy simple things in life. Kpop triggered something in me that makes me want to be like them, live like them, be where they are and eat the food that they eat.

The kpop group that I’m fangirling over now is BTS and Wanna One. I love BTS ‘cause they’re so cool, kind, fun-loving and talented people. But the one thing I love most about them is the way they treat each other. Jimin, in particular, treats Taehyung as his own brother, combing his hair, feeding him, cheering him up when he’s a bit down, and that’s how I want someone to treat me, too and how I wanna treat someone. Even a fan left a comment on that Youtube video about Jimin and Taehyung, says, “I wanna be treated the way BTS treats BTS”. It’s really something I’ve never seen before. Truth is, people can really just pretend; pretend that they’re happy or sad; however, I see the sincerity of some and it kind of gives me hope. My cousin (the one I talked to you about a while ago) was the one who introduced me to BTS. Well she didn’t introduce them to me personally, but I got to know BTS through her convo with a friend. So after I watched Produce 101 season 2, it made me curious about BTS, and why my cousin (who knew a lot about Kpop and is a very reliable source of anything under the sun) love them so much.

On the other note, I love Wanna One because they’re legit cute, funny, talented, humble, and loving. Jisung, the eldest is the one who takes good care of the maknaes (younger members) of Wanna One. He treats them like how a mother treats her child. Ong Seungwoon is the clown of the group. He makes everyone laugh and cheers everyone up. He might be all smiles but deep down he has a gentle and tender heart. He is also one of the best dancers in the group. Kang Daniel is the leader of the group. He is a good-looking charmer who dances really well. He is also witty and reliable. Lee Dae-hwi is the third placer of Produce 101 season 2. He is charming, kind, and he communicates well with people. Park Jihoon is the second placer of Produce 101 season 2. He is also known as “Wink Boy” because wink is his trade mark. Park Woojin is the fourth placer of Produce 101 season 2. He is the best dancer and he is also one of the youngest (“maknae”) in the group. Hwang Minhyun is one of the talest and most responsible members of the group. He debuted at an early age of 17 and right now, he is part of one of the most popular boy groups in Korea – Wanna One. Lee Seungwoo is one of my favorite members of the group. He was a black belter in martial arts and he is always cheerful, gets along with his co-members. He is a friend of BTS’ Park Jimin, Kai of Exo and SHINee’s Taemin. He is also one of the best singers in the group. Lai Guan Lin is one of the maknaes of the group. He is originally from Taiwan and he still learns Korean language. He dances really well and is sweet and friendly. Kim Jae-hwan is the best singer of Wanna One. He knows a lot of different musical instruments such as keyboard and guitar. He has a trade mark laugh which makes everyone laugh when they hear it. He is also a charmer and a good sunbae to the younger members. Bae Jin-young is one of the youngest members of the group. He is a good dancer and singer, and he balances his career and studies really well.

So, that’s basically how and why I love Kpop, though there’s so much to learn, and what I’ve told you was only the tip of the iceberg. This new found love may not take me elsewhere; still, being a part of the Kpop world gives me a hope, and I know someday, everything will makes sense. ∞

TOTGA

So, I’ve just seen this post in a social media website.

T h e r e a r e t w o T O T G A :

1. T h e O n e T h a t G o t A w a y

2. T h e O n e T h a t G o d A l l o w e d

My first serious boyfriend for 2 years was a TOTGA – “The One That God Allowed”. First few years after breakup, I thought he was a TOTGA (The One That Got Away). But then, I realized that God has some bigger plans for me and it was only a chapter of my book.

The pastor’s message last Sunday was all about HOPE; that there’s always hope in Jesus and that we just have to fix our eyes on Him.

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper and not harm you. Plans to give you HOPE and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

We need to keep on hoping, keep on praying that someday everything will fall into place and it will.

All of my relationships were TOTGA (The One That God Allowed), but there’s this one relationship that seems to be in the middle of both TOTGA (The One That God Allowed) && TOTGA (The One That Got Away). 🤨

I’ve only experienced butterflies in my stomach with the guy in between. The fact is, I had the biggest heartache of my life. That life changing, heartbreaking, thing that happens in love stories. And I never thought I would live again. I never thought I would feel love again, fall in love again. But then, I met this guy and suddenly, my heart started beating. I never new I had a heart until I met him. He was not this hunk, boy-next-door type of guy. In fact, the opposite. But he was the handsomest, smartest, most amazing man I ever met. He was my TOTGA. The One That Got Away and The One That God Allowed. You see, he was my first love. I was wrong. I thought the one that broke my heart, was my first love, but it was just infatuation. It was close to puppy-love. I didn’t love the guy, I just loved the idea of him. The idea of him which was NOT him. This other man, on the other hand, loved me first and I learned to love him as well. Not for who I thought he was, but for who he truly is. I just chose to see him how he wants to be seen, and I see the best of him. I see him as a smart, good-looking, kind and gentle person, a good boyfriend, a good husband, a good father. But he got away. Because God allowed it to happen.

I have faith that someday, I’ll see him again. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, I just do. And when that time comes, we’ll both be ready.

Unforgiveness and how it poisons you

This is the story of how I was able to forgive the person who hurt me emotionally.

So, this is kind of a personal thing for me to talk about for I have been dealing with this for quite some time now. People say you just have to let go but the real question here is, how?

I guess, the reason why it was hard for me to let go is because the person who wronged me never apologized so I keep on seeing him, thinking he hasn’t changed at all.

I’ve recently read the book “Road to Forgiveness” by Cindy and Joe Griffiths and I couldn’t comprehend how they were able to forgive the very one who was responsible for their beloved daughter’s death. It’s an unnatural response, to a world full of hatred and curse and it gave me hope, because somehow, someone was able to do it.

These are the things that I found helpful as I struggled with unforgiveness. Look into this and study further, see how it helps.

So, this is how I beat unforgiveness:

1. Just forgive.

You have no choice but to forgive, unless you want to spend the rest of your life miserable.

2. Bad stuff happens. Inhale deeply, and let go.

I mean, bad things happen to good people. It’s a hard reality to swallow, but you must accept it. Inhale deeply, and move on.

3. Let go. Let go. Let go.

Forgive and forget. That’s what you have to do. Life goes on.

4. If you think it’s impossible, think again.

Anything is possible if a person believes.                                                 -Mark 9:23

Also, you can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens you. – Philippians 4:13

5. Smile and keep moving forward.
6. Do not procrastinate. Figure it out and solve it immediately

It’s a different case for everyone. You can’t expect to copy and paste. Realize that no one can help you but yourself. If you won’t help yourself, nothing else will. Analyze your situation and do your best to make things better. Your life depends upon it.

7. Steady your emotions.

Deny your emotions. The Bible asks us to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow him (Jesus). So that’s what we need to do. We need to be different, to go above and beyond the standards of this world so that people can see Him (Jesus) in us. In this world full of darkness, decide to be light.

8. Stop living in the past.

Having unforgiveness in your heart will keep you imprisoned and trapped in the past; and this will weigh you down and affect the present. So stop living in the past, for it keeps you from seeing the truth, and what is truth? The here and now.

Awake oh Sleeper. Awake from your slumber!

Change is inevitable. People change. People deserve to have rooms for improvement just as you do.

9. You never give up on people.
10. Forgive because God has forgiven the unforgivable you.
11. Decide to become a peacemaker and receive peace.

Receive it fully.

            My peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world does, so don’t let your hearts be troubled or afraid.           – John 14:27

12. Pray for it.

There are some things that we can’t do on our own. You need to ask guidance, strength, and wisdom from God. Nothing is impossible through prayer and supplication. Always PUSH “Pray Until Something Happens” and pray without ceasing.

13. Be kind anyway, love anyway, and forgive anyway.

After we have forgiven, it’s hard to let that person in our lives again for fear that they might hurt us again. But you need to get rid of fear and open up yourself again to love and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Loving is being vulnerable.

14. Accept that life is unfair and fair all at the same time.

Life is not meant to be understood, life is meant to be lived. Having unforgiveness in your heart will make you feel paralyzed; you don’t feel alive at all. Choose life, choose forgiveness, and choose peace.

15. Practice it.

Unforgiveness as much as we deny it, is also a state of mind. A wise man once said, “I think, therefore I am” and “What a man thinketh, so is he.” So think about God’s love and how it changes you. Think about the sacrifices of Jesus. You need to renew your mind and fill it with Truth. Fill it with peace, love, joy and Jesus. With Him, you can overcome anything.

There’s no reason, there’s no choice.

17. Let it be.

You might not know why, you might not know the purpose of this, but know that there will be an answer. Let it be.

18. Think about how to mend what was destroyed.

You have to stop being angry. You also have to remember that the enemy only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. –John 10:10 That was his plan and purpose from the start. So, humiliate him and go above and beyond what he is capable of.

Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

– 1 John 4:4

Remember, you are God’s child so you have the authority to rebuke any works of Satan

19. You are not lost, you have already been found. Come back child. I wait for you.
20. Have faith, hope and love.

Faith. Is the evidence of the things not yet seen, of what is to come. Believe that it is now okay, that the enemy is defeated. Have faith in yourself, the other person, and God.

Hope. When everything seems hopeless, keep your eyes on Jesus.        He is the author and finisher of our faith. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So even if things change, people changed, remember that Jesus is the same. He loves you, still. Eternally, unconditionally, faithfully.

Love. This is the greatest and most powerful force in the planet; so powerful that it can change a person fully. The earth and everything in it is formed in love. God is love. -1 John 4:8 so be strong because His love never fails. Nothing is impossible. Keep going, keep praying; Be strong in the Lord. I am rooting for you.

Follow these through and see if there is any progress. My prayers are with you. ∞

Riverdale

So, I was inspired by Cole Sprouse to make a blog. He is Jughead in the US series Riverdale and he is the one who narrates about the events around Riverdale as he tends to make blogs. I’m not really fond of making blogs, and I’m not a girl-next-door type like Betty Cooper but I keep journals. I’m just a simple girl who can get very weird sometimes, and can be very awkward, like Jughead. And I am also someone who doesn’t know how to respond to compliments.

Last night, I watched episode 10 of the Riverdale series, and these were Jughead Jones’ exact words:

In case you haven’t noticed – I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I can’t fit in, and I don’t….fit in. Have you ever seen me without the stupid hat on? That’s weird.

Sometimes, when people do nice things to me, I short-circuit. Maybe I’m not used to it. Maybe I’m scared. Of getting hurt. Of being myself.

I started watching the series last November 1 and it’s not really your typical Archie comic series.

It started when Jason Blossom, the heir of the Blossom family, got murdered because who knows why. The Blossoms are one of the richest families in Riverdale. There are so many motives for killing Jason. His sister, Cheryl Blossom was a socialite and cheerleader of the Vixen’s, Riverdale High’s cheerleading squad. She was most devastated when she found out that Jason was murdered, however, she was not safe of the accusations of the people. As for their parents, I don’t really know. I can’t say anything because Ronnie (Veronica) thinks they’re monsters.

The Lodges and the Blossoms both strive for power and riches. Veronica Lodge, well we all know who Veronica Lodge is. Soft-spoken, gentle, kind-hearted, girl-next-door, no that was Betty. Veronica is one who speaks her own mind and doesn’t care about what people think. Well maybe, she cares about what people think of her looks, however, in this hard exterior is a soft-hearted, selfless girl who loves her friends.

I should be doing my homework, and here I am talking about Veronica Lodge.

Let’s go to Elizabeth Cooper also known as Betty. What really ticks me off is her romance with Jughead. I’ve read in the Archie comics that Jughead kind of liked Betty. ‘Liked’ in a sense that he always talked positively about her. How kind she was, how ‘perfect’ she was. And it really made me ‘kilig’ because Cole Sprouse is so handsome. At first, I got disappointed when Archie didn’t give Betty any attention cause I’ve always been an Archie-Betty supporter. However, Betty and Jughead’s love story evolved in the movie and they were an interesting bunch.

I’ve never seen the part where Archie and Ron got close, yet, so I can’t tell anything ‘bout it. But, I am not against their love story. Like what they say, “Opposites attract”, unlike Betty and Archie. I mean they’re like two positive magnets, and things like that don’t really work out. Believe me, I know. 🙂

In the movie, the Lodges were having financial problems. In fact, Mama Lodge worked for Pop’s. Her husband, Hiram, was in jail and it was believed that the Blossoms’ were the ones responsible for him being there. Besides the Lodges, the Coopers also have a grudge towards the Blossoms.

Polly Cooper had an affair with Jason Blossom and their parents were not happy about it. Why? It’s because Hal Cooper’s father and the father of Clifford Blossom once had a business affair of maple syrup production. It became so popular that it was where Sweetwater River got its name. But, in the end, their fortune became misfortune, because Grandpa Blossom became greedy and decided not to share any more profit with Grandpa Cooper. This angered Grandpa Cooper so much, but in the end, it was Grandpa Blossom who pulled the trigger. Some years after, Hal Cooper was born, and he was told about what had happened years ago. And so, he disliked the Blossoms.

Anyways, if there’s one thing Riverdale has taught me, it’s this:

It’s okay to be weird and it’s okay to be aggressive. It’s okay to express who you really are and it’s okay to be silent. It’s okay even if no one understands and it’s okay to fail. It’s okay to feel and figure things out. It’s okay if you’re in a different pace as everyone else. We have different struggles and all are unique. It’s okay to be different. Sometimes you just have to let things be and always remember you’re not going through shit alone.

Lastly, if you ask me whether or not I’d like to live in Riverdale, I’d say yes. But only because Cole Sprouse is there. 

Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know your thoughts. 🙂